HealthEvolution

#6) “Develop a Healthy Selfishness”.

Now, here’s a point in the article where I really agree with and support the author who says, “As Fletcher counseled overweight clients, she noticed that many women, in particular, had a difficult time putting themselves first.  All day long, they’d help their spouse, family, friends, and co-workers.  At the end of the day, these women were exhausted.  And they often turned to food.  The only nice thing they did for themselves was eat.”

This was something that I definitely experienced while I was overweight.  I felt obligated to my work, my friends, my boyfriend, and certainly put the needs of almost everyone before my own.  I thought that I needed to help them – that was my purpose and I took pride in doing such a good job.  The problem, though, was that I soon became a martyr in my own life.  Soon, I was drained and resented the people that I was supporting – my boss, my parents, my friends.  I was sick and tired of supporting them and I felt exhausted from absorbing all of their stresses and making them my problems, too.  The only way that I relaxed was by eating.  The only time I had to myself was time to eat.  The only way I would relieve all this stress was by overloading my sensory input and getting totally high off food.  It made me feel good, relaxed, calm, comfortable, distracted, at ease, and peaceful. 

The problem with this, though, is that those good feelings I felt in the moment were soon quickly replaced with feelings of guilt, stress, gluttony, shame, agony, embarrassment, and anger.  I knew that my behavior was only making my problem worse, but I didn’t know how to stop.  I didn’t want to stop because eating was my only source of calm in the turbulent storm of my life. 

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